As a coach and trainer in (Self) Dialogue, I help people improve their ability to connect with others, starting with the connection they have with themselves. The number one word that pops up in the first session is: clarity. Most experience a lack of clarity in their lives. Lack of clarity about their purpose, direction and the next practical steps to take. When you lack clarity, it's pretty simple, you won't change, let alone get out of your comfort zone - which is mandatory for real change - and that's how you get stuck in life.

If a coach tells you he or she has the answers for you, I'd say run away as fast as you can. Because there is only one person who has your answers: you. All answers you are seeking are within you. Sounds like a cliche, I know, or maybe this is not what you are looking to hear, but I invite you to fully take this in. First feel some relief since you don't need anyone or anything outside of you to get there. Then feel if you are ready to learn how to discover the answers within you.

The 3 steps you may take to create clarity for and inside of yourself are: raise your level of self-awareness, build your self-confidence and train your intuition.

The easiest way to start enhancing your level of self- awareness is meditation. The word "meditation" is just like the word "sport", it doesn't say much since you can do any kind of sport, for example running, swimming or dancing. There are many ways how to meditate, it doesn't matter how you do it, as long as you discover what's your best way to get out of your head and experience that you have a body and mind; and that who you are is that presence, the awareness. The space between you and your thoughts becomes bigger. The more you get to that place, the more you start feeling like coming home inside of you, simply said, you feel good. The more you do, you will start tapping into your genius. So don't make meditation a goal on its own, but figure out how you connect best with yourself.

The bigger your self awareness, the more you start experiencing your feelings just as they are: a sensation you experience. No matter if it's fear or joy, all feelings are welcome to be experienced, and you no longer identify yourself with the feeling. This is self-confidence. My best way to describe what self confidence is: not afraid to feel. True freedom - that every single human being is chasing in his or her life - is understanding you are not your feelings, not only intellectually but also experientially. The world around you can trigger feelings in you, but they are still just feelings. And as a matter of fact, you always are able to release, soften and give yourself any feeling you'd desire to feel, any moment and at any place. This is what I call improve your Self Dialogue. If you wish to take this a step further and actually strengthen your Self Dialogue, that's where your intuition comes into play.

Training your intuition is the third step to gain clarity of your purpose in life, including direction and steps to take. Become aware of intuitive hits and start noticing the difference between thinking and receiving. Your intuition whispers to you, always and ever since you are alive. Every human being has an intuition, the only difference is how loud is this whisper and are you trusting and following up with what it is giving to you. The great news is you can pump up the volume of your intuition. The louder it is, the softer your thoughts become. Thoughts are also always there and there to stay - no science has proven yet what thoughts really are - but we all agree they exist and it's kind of a stream that you can not turn of. But what you can do is by becoming more aware of your thoughts, the less you identify yourself with them and actually select and choose your thoughts. How? It's a beautiful side effect of the previous steps shared for self-awareness and self-confidence, and also when your intuition becomes stronger. Start by making notes when ideas or inspiration pops up; this is receiving, something completely different than thinking. When you know the difference, you have arrived, and you probably don't have any question around clarity in your life, or whatsoever, any more.

Clarity brings you more understanding of who you are, why you are here - your purpose- and how to create in your life. You come to understand that all you need to know is only the next best step. You can't and you don't have to know the how or all the steps you have to take. One step at the time. You only need to know what the next best step is.

Do you have clarity in your life? Do you know who you (truly) are? What your purpose is? And how about the steps you take to create in your life? Leave me a message in the comment section below, I’d love to hear from you.

- W.