Of All The Rights Of Women, The Greatest Is...

...to be a mother.

Is it? Do I truly believe this? Or am I trapped in a bullsh*t rule (brule) from our society, that as a woman at some point in your life you just want and need to be a mother? I love my life, I love my work, I love the people in my life. I love so much in this life, that it's too much to share in one article. Really, I don't think I need to be a mother to feel complete and successful in life.

Rules from society or whatever, I figured out from a very young age that I don’t have to follow anyone else’s rules. As a matter of fact, I became very good at discovering brules. It was and is pretty easy for me to make and choose my own rules in life. Making choices has never been difficult for me. But for the first time I'm challenged.

So I don't need to be a mother, but do I want to be a mom? I can't seem to find the answer. No clear feeling. No clear thought. Actually the more I think about it, the more I get confused. That's why I've enjoyed being a host at an event for The School Of Life Amsterdam about this topic. What to expect when you're not expecting. Listening to some experts and interaction with the audience has inspired me into some clarity inside myself.

You see, the older I get I realize what it truly means to bring new life into this world. Actually I have never understood why some people so easily made the choice to have children. They seem easily accepting this huge and infinite responsibility. I really feel it in my core - it's almost a feeling of worry, having someone connected to me so deeply goes even beyond responsibility. In other words, my pure sense of freedom would be affected if I bring another human being into this world.

Don't get me wrong, I believe having children is something special. And I know from some people around me that it's actually a miracle. For some people - despite the heartfelt wish to become parents - it's not even possible. So I find myself, especially with the big four'O happening next year, questioning myself. Do I want to have kids?

My own mother has wisdom that some times seems to be my biggest motivation to become a mother. She says "maybe you'll know when you recognize the father of your children". True wisdom? I don't know. At some level it feels good to share my indecisiveness and to let another person inspire me into a decision. And this brings me to another question. Should I consider freezing my eggs?

Leave me a message in the comment section below, I’d love to hear from you.

- W.