Your Compass And Your Rocket
Most people think they understand what I mean when I say dialogue or self dialogue. They think dialogue means communication. And so self dialogue must mean communication with or within oneself. People I had the privilege to work with as a coach and trainer, would say now it's communication with connection. All of this is true. But in this article I'd love to invite you - whether we have met at one of my coaching programs or not yet - to go deeper, to be open and curious to a next level of understanding what self dialogue means. For now, at least what it means to me.
The reason why I say at least what it means to me, is because I don't have yet science backing up my statements. Some validation so to say, for others to feel more safe to perceive it as true. This is exactly why I feel enthusiasm to step into the world of science. I'm ready for my new role in life, to further express my passion called (self) dialogue - after my previous roles: military officer, government official, politician and social entrepreneur - while I continue with my social entrepreneurship. In my next chapter in life, as a scientist I am aiming to contribute in the field of sociology and psychology with my PhD research on self dialogue. In 2016 I was introduced by a mutual friend to Hubert Hermans. Hubert has been an Emeritus Professor at the Radboud University in Nijmegen. Besides our personal connection and passion for self dialogue, the last 5 years I've learned more about Hubert's scientific research and I've read his many articles and books published by Cambridge University Press in New York. I could relate to his scientific approach in capturing this phenomenon called self dialogue, which he calls the "Dialogical Self Theory". His model is a success, because it's used by many. The Dialogical Self Theory is a so-called open model. This means that new research can use it effectively, without many constraints. It's an honour that Hubert is supporting me in this journey and I'm grateful to have him by my side, because he really is a scientist with a great legacy.
Great scientists know that being creative, able to think outside the box and envision things that cannot be seen, is the key to genius. That's why for now I'd love to share what self dialogue means to me without any scientific proof. Self dialogue means to me being aware of who I am, an expression of life, and feeling connected to all that is. This feeling of connection gives me a sense of being supported, and more accurately captured in words, a knowing "I am not alone". A few weeks ago I have made a photo collage on one of the walls in my dining room. Looking at some of these pictures of me as a little girl, I remember how strong my self dialogue was. I was a child who hardly needed any toys to entertain herself. Just being in this happy place inside of me was more than enough, because I genuinely felt not alone and I was having so much fun. I was always being perceived by others as an easy child, and in response people shared their love with me - wherever I am, wherever I go and whomever I meet. And this has been the same ever since, most of the time, with most of the people who cross my path in life. Many memories from my childhood come back, when I stand in front of these pictures. I believe that all children kick off their lives with a powerful self dialogue, which shows how natural it is for any human being and that it really is just a matter of awareness. How is your self dialogue?
As an adult I am not only aware of and conscious about my self dialogue, but I also receive many things through this connection. Sometimes it's inspiration. Sometimes it's a warning or a sense of purpose. Sometimes I receive visuals, sometimes I feel or simply know. This connection is like a compass and a rocket for me, because it gives me clear guidance on the direction I am heading to, and crystal clear clarity on the next best step to takemoving into that direction. All these words in this article are my best shot so far at expressing what I mean when I say self dialogue. If you connect to spirituality, you might resonate with the words feeling connected to the divine. For me divine means one life, all that is.
This brings me to other notions that great scientists know very well. A great scientist knows you need to be persistent, recognise your work may take decades, and that your approach may be wrong and your work could be proven false by future scientists. Nevertheless, as we speak, I continue writing my PhD research proposal with guidance and clarity, using my compass and my rocket. Hopefully reminding you of yours, and some day our findings will be backed up with scientific proof.
- W.